At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
