and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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