i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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