your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
