Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
