She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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