I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
