So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
