I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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