Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
