she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
