My nipple is on Facebook.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
