just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
