Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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