PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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