i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
