where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
