he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
