Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
