I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I want a musical about memes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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