Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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