barbara walters just said penis...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
