Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
