There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
