nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
