how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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