This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
