Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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