The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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