You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
