Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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