A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
