It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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