I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
