i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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