Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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