My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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