yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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