Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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