theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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