ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
