I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
