What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
