found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
