I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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