nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
