His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
