What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
