We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
