When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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