I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
