the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
